तू कौन है?

I thought it would be fun if I had multiple ME's like a multi-pack for mobile phone bodies, change them whenver you get tired of one. It has happenned to me now; A look at the mirror and it I can't relate to the image (an oblong,vertical parallelogram) I see there. It surely has got to do with latest 3 month excess of gobbling 1 kg mangoes a day abetted by an erratic sleeping schedule.
Neverthless, I don't relate to what I see in the mirror, and its not fun as I had thought. The journey seems to be getting over. According to BMI calculations, I am no more overweight, I AM OBESE!!!
I don't like it, so Talwalkar, here I come!!!

सर मुंडाते ही ओले पड़े!!!

Induction in first company - "Yaaaaawwwwwn" for 2 days
Induction in second company - "Yaaaaawwwwwn" for 5 days
Induction in third company - "Yaaaaawwwwwn" for 2 days

Induction in latest company - can be 'analogised' like this
इस उड़ान में आपका स्वागत है,
यात्रा शुरू होने से पहले हम बताना चाहेंगे की
यात्रा अत्यन्त तेज़ गति पे पूरी की जायेगी,
यात्रा का हमें खाली गंतव्य पता है
रास्ते के बारे में ज़्यादा जानकारी नही है,
बाहर का मौसम अत्यन्त ख़राब होने की उम्मीद है
इसलिए कृपया अपने सीट की पेटी अपने से ही बाँध लें,
इस विमान में निकास का एक ही रास्ता है
और आपको बाहर निकालने का फ़ैसला एक-तरफा हम ही करेंगे,
दबाव बढ़ने की स्थिति में
धूम्रदंडिका के प्रयोग की अनुमति है,
यात्रा में नाश्ता मिल सकता है
बशर्ते आप सही वक्त पर उसे झपट लें,
बाकी अब आप को बेस्ट ऑफ़ लक हैगा
जय राम जी की!!!

First day in office turned out to be the first night (pun unintended) and then to first early morning as well!!! 4 am to be precise. And the next 3 days were not very different either.

Rock 'n' Roll.......................

The Baap of all biz ideas!!!!

Well, if you are one of the lucky few to visit my blog, well, go ahead, buy that porcshe, buy that bungalow at colaba, splurge................'coz what you are going to find below is one of the biggest business ideas to have hit the planet in a long long time

THE SUE-SUE FUND
Well, just go through this link first to get an idea of what I am talking about
http://www.power-of-attorneys.com/stupid_lawsuit_collection.asp?wacky=0
Yes, you got it right, I am talking about combining cutting-edge financial securitization techniques with the litigation happy American Society, to give you unprecedented returns.

This fund plans to securitize all future receivables based on the amazingly high number of opportunities to SUE in the over-politically correct America. Since the gestation period can be higher for certain high-end litigations, multiple tranches of securities will be issued with the lower tranche protecting the higher tranche in case of payment delays.
Sub-Prime litigation anyone??

Also, as legal expenses form the biggest chunk of the cost of operations, this fund will also set up a legal outsourcing subsidiary in India which may even take up outside business depending upon the market scenario. Tracking stocks in this subsidiary can also be expected depending upon the market performance.

Another uniqueness of this fund would be that first time you would be making money and fulfilling CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) in the same vein by improving societal standards. Basically, you don't even have to worry about any GLOBE about CSR, nor any money to be spent on setting some CSR board. Basically, no nonsense, just ethical super-returns.

"Sue-Sue fund, करे ऐसा Sue, निकाल दे सबकी सू-...!!!! "

Disclaimer - Sue-Sue Fund returns are subject to (if) Sanity returns. Pl roll up the offer document gleefully before investing.

Know Smoking

Ok, this review was pending for long.

What the hell is the censor board for? I mean, well, its a great job, you get to see all the scenes uncut after all!!! but apart from rating sexual content, violence, social/political/religious content, I guess the censor board or some other authority should start officially rating movies as well. This movie should have had an "IG" sign attached to it, meaning "intellectual guidance recommended". Yeah, you got it right, it was one of those Art movies. This inference is not attributed to my intellectual skills but rather to my sense of logic, as they say, Art can never be interpreted (though from pure logic point of view, this inference is wrong, if u r still reading this post, well u may as well draw a Venn diagram and verify!!!).

This was one of those Open to Interpretation kinda movies; movies where most of us have no idea what the movie was all about till we go home and google for some review but we still play safe in a group by readily agreeing that it was pathbreaking movie etc etc.

Well, anyway, as I read on some review board myself, a critic had termed this as an arrogant movie by the director. I agree, without an "IG" rating, you are not being fair with the person who'll shell out 100+ bucks and lose even more in terms of pure opportunity cost of spending the two hrs in the theatre.

How can you rate the performances of the actors in this movie when its hard to understand what a particular character stands for? Still people try "John's been really slick in this movie" - Well what else can a model with the acting prowess of a mannequin do? "Ayesha takia is very subtle in her role" - Dude, shez just being natural, shez dumb!!! "Ranvir is undoubtedly the best export from the small to the big screen, of late" - Do people still watch Channel V???
Only thing likeable in this movie are the funny-arbit kinda spontaneous moments spread throught.

The movie director definitely loves to smoke, thats why he didn't name the movie Smoking, as then Smoking sucks, and with No Smoking, No Smoking sucks, and thats precisely why I smoke.

To Gym or not to जीम

For lazy bums like me
How to waste money - Join a gym
How to feel bad about wasting money - Join a gym and put on 3 kgs :( !!! what the hell!!!

जिम गया तेल लेने , अब तो बस जम के जीमूंगा

Could it get any 'verse' ?

ये क्या जगह है दोस्तों
ये कौन सा दयार है
हदे निगाह तक यहाँ
गुबार ही गुबार है

मैंने मांगी थी कंसल्टिंग
पर ये तो निकली इन्सल्टिंग
बनाया है इन्होने मेरा चूतीया
मुश्किल है करना, ये काम इतना घटिया

अब मुझे कौन बचायेगा
कौन इस जगह से निजात दिलायेगा
कर रक्खे हैं मैंने मस्त-मस्त फाइनेंस के सर्टिफिकेशन
पर मिला है खाली सीवी रिजेक्शन और फ्रस्ट्रेशन

दिल की ना सुनी मैंने पहले
घुस गया होता कोई छोटी-मोटी फाइनेंस कंपनी में
कर रहा होता अब तक कुछ हाई-फाई काम
ऊंचा कर रहा होता ५ प्वोईंटर भाई लोगों का नाम

अभी पड़ा हूँ एक सरकारी दफ्तर में,
सुन रहा हूँ लोगों की बकवास,
मन कर रहा है बकूँ गालियाँ जी भर के,
पर नही है कोई मेरी हालत समझने वाला आस-पास

ये क्या जगह है दोस्तों
ये कौन सा दयार है
हदे निगाह तक यहाँ
गुबार ही गुबार है

Someplace Else - Java city - Hard Rock Cafe

Thankfully found something to compensate for S'else.
Java city provides you the old cafe ambiance with some above avg. live jazz music, and to top it with some good coffee & really good muffins. The high point of the band is the 85+ sax player 'Uncle Dominique', needs support to walk, but can play the Sax for hrs straight. The imported violin player was also very impressive and so was the drummer as much for his skills with drums as for showmanship. Didn't like the guitarist much though.

Hard rock cafe, well, what a departure from the ones I've seen in London/Amsterdam where its just another hangout pub (actually the one in Amsterdam is hardly worth mentioning). This one had great interiors but it was disappointing wrt the memorabilia. Where it stood out the most was in terms of the beauty quotient. Pretty good stuff. This also brought out an interesting conversation between me & Suri about whether its easier for women to look gorgeous or just that males are normally more frushtoo. Well, a look around that place and but for 2 (yes, we did count :) ) all the women seemed hot. In this materialistic age, it is so heartwarming to see that at least the mordern woman has taken unto herself the responsibility to implement the preachings of Mahatma Gandhi, though they have been strategically selective in that.

Taking the logic to the other side, we also discussed whether women bother about men the same way. Most of the blokes were in the usual attire, not to mention Suri & Dental with their million dollar chappals. Would this be frustrating for women too, means wouldn't they like to see all the men dressed up & stuff? Didn't seem so, from a general observation, looked like women were more interested in looking good themselves & as to how much attention they could gather rather than bothering about the males' dressing.

Amongst other things, I could hold on to my 2nd round of quitting booze after the cash-draining 'test' month I did at someplace else. Though just wondering, the conversation above could have been taken to new heights after 7-8 large pegs of Jack Daniels (no, I'm not looking for an excuse :))

Damn, Monday is here again :(

Me-Moi-Errrr......

Kolkata, Kolkata, Don't worry kolkata......


Anyways, its difficult to ascertain whether my inability to write memoirs about places is b'coz of my general lack of receptivity or the city being kolkata. Koshish karta hoon khair

Kolkata times for me

• heat & humidity
• bong attack
• start of another dull phase of career
• joblessness & hence a disinterested introduction to orkut
• Fight between real & virtual
• non-veg pantries
• someplace else (this deserves a separate post though)
• endless job applications preceded and succeeded by even more endless career cribs
• true meaning of brunch (wake up to lunch i.e.)
• realization of an MBA's worth in the IT industry ( which is at best that of a Trespasser)
• endless staring at the monitor without really looking at anything (though i had mastered this art earlier at IIM-L)
• being away from kolkata every other weekend
• a peak & trough in my bank account every month, which almost balanced themselves out, the trough definitely related to the point above

All in all, 'kal kata', aaj-bhi-kata, aur asha karta hoon ki aage bhi kat-ta rahega

Taare Zameen Par

Well, a film review after a long time

AAMIR KHAN, the name itself so much hype in the media; I, as usual, entered the theatre with the usual skepticism.

Even before the movie actually begins, the brilliant casting graphics take your breath away, not just with the amazing concept & content, but the very subtle undertones that the director wants to set upfront, random but beautiful creative thoughts only possible in an innocent brain.

Anyways, a detalied analysis is out of scope given my patience & creative constraints, would just highlight the major points I felt in the movie.

Looking at Darsheel's (Ishaan) performance, it becomes difficult to decide who should get more credit, the young actor for his intelligence & spontaniety or the director, to have captured the raw emotions so perfectly. The control in his emotions when he is muddled between angst & helplesness is remarkable, not to forget the mischief in his eyes.

Another strong point is the music score. It seems Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy were given a free-er hand and that is evident in the essentially rock-laden backdrop, but which at no point becomes loud, and provides an altogether different feel.

The only thing which I didn't like somewhat was Aamir's entry into the movie with a general hey-kids-lets-have-fun kinda song. This could have been more subtle.

Aamir the actor takes a backseat in the movie (felt like he was too engrossed with the movie and didn't take/want his character to be too prominent) and Aamir the director wins hands down. It is not an easy task in Bollywood to make movies which are hatke but can still make money. Hats off!!!

On a cynical note, Ishaan though being dyslexic, is a brialliant child (a painter). Would people still watch the movie if he turned out to be just an average kid, with nothing really special about him. I mean, in the end, as it turned out with Ishaan, expecting every kid to be brilliant would itself defeat the message of the movie